Trust & Healing

15

Oct
2019
I was raped my freshman year of college. It was something I never thought would happen to me. I was very down and I felt like it was the end of the world because I had told someone I confided in and they chose not to believe me. I felt like I had no one and a year later I told someone and I did not feel so alone because they opened up to me that they were sexually assaulted as well. It felt so good knowing that I was not alone and it had been so long feeling like no one had cared. You never know what someone is going through or has been through. Being sexually assaulted does not make you less of a stronger woman. I used to think that because I was assaulted I was not strong anymore because I let someone assault me. My anxiety has gotten worse and I am more paranoid now. I try to look on the Bright-side that I am now more aware of my surroundings. There was a time that I relied on other people to make me feel beautiful. I diminished my own beauty because of what happened to me. There are days where I feel like I am being tested on telling myself I am beautiful instead of letting someone else define what is beautiful about me. I had to learn to love myself again. A song that helped me through this tough time was fight a little longer because in 2017 when I was going through it a song called “I’ll Find You” came out by Lecrae and Tori Kelly. It made me realize that I need to fight to feel completely myself. I got a tattoo to remind myself that I am stronger than I realize if God is by my side. Mark 5:34 says, “He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you.Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” I believe that God has a reason for everything even though I may not see it now. I feel like since this has happened to me I am able to talk to young girls and woman about this. I want to raise awareness about sexually assault victims and help victims. I hope to be a voice for those who cannot speak for themselves and touch someone’s life.
-Tryanna James


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